Tuesday, 3 November 2015

Are You the Light?

I've been doing A LOT of self reflection recently. So much change has taken place, which I'm sure you've already started to figure out, but despite all the change and uncertainty,  Did you ever have the feeling you were meant for something bigger?  I have.  My whole life.  And lately, I feel like I'm seemingly moving towards something pretty spectacular; a realization that is absolutely refreshing but sometimes kind of scary.  I mean even if we don't know exactly where life is going, or what kind of impact we are supposed to make, knowing in my heart that personal change will begin to move mountains I can't even comprehend is really pretty inspiring!

Gandhi said "Be the change you want to see in the World." It's one of my favorite quotes.  One that is currently fueling me to become better and do better each day.  We all know the reality is that the World can be a pretty crappy place, and there aren't many people who are being that change or even willing to do so.  One thing I've really been pondering lately is that there definitely aren't  many people in life who want to lift you up and be the encouraging voice that some of us really need.  It's something so small, but has the ability to create such a huge impact.  Most of the time people are so caught up in their own misery that it's easier to drag someone else into it, versus lifting them up to a higher frequency.  I've been there.   I've been the person who was sucked down into someone else's misery.  I let if affect me so much that I became miserable and taking on this kind of energy was toxic;  I let it affect me in such a way that I was emitting negative energy, and not only affecting others, but I was starting to get on my own damn nerves, and that just wasn't me!  I'll willing to bet we have all been there a time or two and that we have all met our fair share of "Debbie Downers;" even if it's completely unintentional; but it's come become crystal clear to me, that in order to be truly fulfilled and live a positive life, and to be the change that I want to see in the World, I have to make the change, and I have to consciously make the decision to emit and attract positive energy!

Truthfully, to consciously strive to live a  life fueled by positivity takes work! A lot of hard work! It's so much easier to be negative and find all the things that are wrong in life;  all the struggles that we have, or how crappy the world can be; we never have enough money, or time, our job sucks, or we hate where we live, the list could go on and on.  I've been guilty of  this kind of thinking. Let's get real; we all have.  But  despite a negative day or a period of struggle, for some, negativity can be a lifestyle.  The old saying "misery loves company" is true; bringing someone down to a lower vibration, is always easier than lifting someone up; but it's so draining!  In our society we are surrounded by so much negativity that it's easy to get sucked into a vortex of negative energy; and how can we attract what we want or achieve our greatest potential both individually and as a society by doing that? We can't.

On a personal level, I've been consciously trying to omit the negativity from my life and really pay attention to the energy that I surround myself with, as well as the energy that I am omitting.  Like I said, finding people who are  surrounded by light, and positive energy can be a rarity these days, but if found these are people that you should hold onto, because they don't come around everyday.  I have been really fortunate in that I've had a few of these people find their way into my life, and I cherish them more than they will ever know. They are the people that are good for my soul, that bring out the best in me, and see my good intentions and good spirit, even when I can't see it myself.  Do you have people like this in your life?  Hold onto them because they will see the best in you when no one else will, and they will be the ones helping to lift you from the dark, when you might need a helping hand.

I'm definitely need people around me that are going to remind me of this every now and then, because life isn't going to be rainbows and butterflies 100% of the time; but I believe that without a doubt when you consciously make an effort to live and love at a higher frequency you will begin to attract like minded people.  People who are positive and encouraging, and people who have the same light that you do.  There is a distinct difference  in those who truly try to live with a positive outlook, and consciously try to distance themselves from negativity; these people are not only living to better themselves but they unconsciously influence the World around them. These are the people who are going to make a difference; a chain reaction that will change our World for the better. Those are the people I want to know...and that is the person I am striving to be.

So that's where I'm at right now in my journey!  Sometimes I get caught up in these thoughts and it can get pretty deep, and maybe they don't even make any sense;  truthfully it's kind of scary to put these thoughts out there to share with you guys, but another part of my change is being vulnerable and transparent; I am a real person, just like you.  If you're reading this, I want to challenge you to ask yourself a few questions;  are you influencing the people around you for the greater good?  Do you  consciously make and effort to emit positivity and love?  Are you going to be a part of that chain reaction for change that takes place in someone else?  If you are, great!  Keep it up, our world needs more people like you, and you are the people who inspire me!! But if you're not, don't worry, it's never too late; and I challenge you all to strive to become that person!  Try not to focus so much on the negative and consciously strive to be that positive light that someone else might need in their life; that's when we will start a chain reaction for the better... that's when we will change that World.  

Friday, 30 October 2015

I Am A Fighter!

I can't believe it's been a year since I last wrote.  It's sad, because once again I let my love for writing go by the wayside.  I wont lie though, I got somewhat lost again and have been struggling with pretty heavy things this past year.  In the midst of trying not to lose myself entirely, I was battling some pretty dark demons while trying to keep a smile on my face and not lose the person that I have been fighting so hard to become...I didn't want to lose the passion that I've talked so much about; I couldn't lose "that girl" who's soul had been set on fire.  So that's why I'm here...again;  because I am a fighter, and I've dealt with some pretty hard things and made some pretty terrible mistakes, but I will not let those things define me.  I will not back down and I'm not giving up.  I will rise like a Phoenix from the ashes, and come out stronger than I have ever been..because I AM a FIGHTER.

If there is one thing I'm completely sure of, it's that I am without a doubt a fighter by nature.  I'm a strong person and I do not give up easily.  I will fight until my knuckles are bleeding for the things that I believe in and for the people I love.  I will fight with everything I've got, which I've found, for me, can sometimes be a blessing and a curse.  This summer things in my life got really dark.  I had already traveled down a pretty dark road, mistakes had been made, things that couldn't be taken back and been done, and all I wanted to do was rewind my life; preferably to when I was 17, as long as I could take all my new found knowledge with me!  In all seriousness though,  things were heavy, and I wasn't seeing much light at the end of a dark tunnel.  In recent months, after A LOT of counseling and self reflection, I was unloading on a very patient friend and finally had the "ah-ha moment" I'd been waiting for.  I finally realized that somewhere along my journey I stopped fighting for something that was really important; I had been fighting for things that I couldn't change, things that were entirely out of my control, and  I had forgot that there was someone else worth fighting for...me.

I'm not a person that likes to dwell on or the "what I've been through" or "my side of the story" or the the "shoulda, coulda, woulda's," because everyone has those moments in their life that they aren't proud of, or that they could justify; And #realtalk: sometimes life is just ugly and messy and there is plenty that we just wish we could omit; but that isn't what makes up our entire story, although in all honesty, sometimes it's the ugly things that end up making our story beautiful!  Maybe one day I will share more of "my story" here with you guys, but now isn't the time, and I'm not sure there ever will be a time; but I will tell you this...every single one of those moments, the good, the bad and the ugly, they are my moments. They have shaped me into the woman that is writing this entry.  The woman who holds her head up high and knows that she can do hard things.  The woman who not only fights for what she loves, but also the woman who fights for herself,  and knows that she is worth fighting for because she is valuable, and special,  and lovable despite the ugly scars that only she might see.

I think sometimes, especially women (not that any men are being excluded!), we fight our hearts out for the things that are important to us. We walk the line for everyone else, but we can tend to forget that we are important too. We forget that we are valuable, and we get discouraged; we can become lost because we feel like no one is fighting for us and we might start to feel like we aren't worth fighting for. This is a feeling I became all too familiar with for a long time; and I think that is why I've found myself here tonight writing this entry.  I don't want to be there again, losing the fight for myself.  So really this serves as a reminder; and if you're reading this, I hope that it serves as a reminder for you too, wherever you might be on your own journey,  that YOU are valuable, and special, and that YOU ARE worth fighting for, even if it means you have to fight for yourself!  In a way it might sound a little selfish. It's not.  Sometimes it's completely necessary in order for your soul to survive.  Fighting for yourself doesn't mean you've given up the fight for everything else;  it means that you are strong and brave; because let me tell you it takes a hell of a lot of courage to fight for yourself and for what you finally deserve!

So hold your head high baby girl....because YOU are a FIGHTER!